


I don't belong and my beloved neither do you

by queen_of_demons_and_hell



Series: Folklore Fanfics [1]
Category: Throne of Glass - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_of_demons_and_hell/pseuds/queen_of_demons_and_hell
Summary: Lorcan has been forced out of town and Elide is going to escape her abusive uncle and join him, but in order to do that she needs to make herself untrackable. Which means cutting ties with everyone she loves, Aelin, Aedion, Dorian and Manon and the 13. But she has to. She has to leave.
Relationships: Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre
Series: Folklore Fanfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172012
Kudos: 2





	I don't belong and my beloved neither do you

Every time her uncle’s rundown car hit a pothole Elide’s heart lurched into her throat and her mind spiraled.

This is it. He’s even drunker then normal and he’s going to crash and I’m going to die before I get the chance to live my life away from this hellhole.

Her knuckles were white as she clutched her bookbag close to her chest and she was sure that if Vernon was any more sober he would noticed that her bag was not filled for ‘a study session at the local diner’. If only he knew.

\-----------------

Is it romantic how all my elegies eulogize me?  
I’m not cut out for all these cynical clones  
These hunters with cellphones

\------------------

They pulled up to the diner, it was a standard 50s retro diner, the only thing ruining the picturesque scene being the 13 motorcycles parked in the Employees and Owner parking spots. “This is good, uncle Vernon.” Elide said, reaching for the door handle when her uncle grabbed her arm.

Elide froze, her breath leaving her body so quickly she figured she should be dead. He knew. He knew what she was planning on doing today and he was going to stop her, using whatever he needed to. He was going to ask who she was studying with, and he didn’t like any of her friends, there was something wrong with all of them. He was going to ask why she’d been crying for 2 weeks straight then suddenly stopped. He was going to ask why she was never talking to Lorcan anymore, what had happened to him. He was going to figure out what she was going to do, that he was dropping her off. And she wasn’t planning on ever coming back.

“You can’t get a ride home from me,” He leaned very close to her face, close enough she could smell the stale booze and cigarette smoke. She leaned back as far she could without banging her head on the window. 

“That’s okay,” She carefully extracted her arm from his vice-like grip. “I can get a ride from someone else, or I can walk home. It’s only a few miles.” I’ve had to walk much worse when you were passed out and couldn’t take me to school. Was what she didn’t add.

He nodded his eyes unfocused and Elide hesitantly reached for the door again. When her uncle didn’t move she pushed the door open and stumbled out, clutching her bag tightly against her, and slamming the door. She walked across the parking lot, waiting until she heard her uncle drive off before opening the door and stepping inside.

~~~~~~~

The first thing she noticed was the smell. The entire diner smelled like paella, her favorite. Despite that nobody currently in the diner was eating it. They were all talking amongst themselves, eating the legendary (At least in this town) food. They had no clue of the raw turmoil turning over inside Elide’s stomach. They had no idea the agonizing pain she was going through. They had no hope of witnessing the raw hope slicing through her and following her every move. They had no idea what she would tell herself constantly. You will see him again. You will. The world owes you this much. None of them had any idea. They were the same people who had made fun of her in middle and high school.

Elide shook herself out of her thoughts and walked to the bar counter, not stopping to hang her coat on the rack or make small talk with any of the staff or customers like she normally did.

Thea was working the counter, talking to a customer that seemed to be getting pretty nasty. Her face was hard and she looked about ready to snap but that all changed when she saw Elide approach. Her face melted into a sad smile and she cut off the customer to talk to Elide. “Manon’s in the back. They’ve made paella, go on back.”

Elide smiled back. It was very much like Manon to make her favorite. Elide could tell it was a last-ditch effort to make her forget Lorcan and stay, but Elide knew (And knew Manon knew) that she couldn’t do that. She had to go, she had to find him. They were Romeo and Juliet. He’d already been cast out, and it was her turn to follow him.

She walked into the kitchen, letting the door swing shut behind her, and gasped. Manon had pulled out all the stops. All of her favorite dishes and drinks were scattered across counters and the chefs seemed to be in the process of making more. She saw Asterin and worked her way through the crowd of chefs and plates of food to her. 

Asterin, for lack of a better term, looked like she’d walked through a cyclone. She was completely frazzled and looked only seconds away from either pulling her hair out or having a breakdown. 

“Asterin!” Elide called over the clamor and was met with wild eyes. Asterin shoved her way through and grabbed Elide into a tight hug. Elide’s eyes widened. This wasn’t their thing. Asterin didn’t do this. She didn’t show affection to anybody but her husband and son. Elide only hesitated for a moment before melting into it, wrapping her arms around the woman and pulling her closer.

Elide could swear Asterin sobbed as they separated. She held Elide at arm's length away from her, looking her up and down. “Is this going to be the last time I’ll ever see you, hermanita?” 

Elide sniffled, “I think so,”

Asterin sighed, dropping her arms to wipe furiously at her eyes. “Make sure to stop by one more time before you leave.”

Elide arched an eyebrow and gestured to the food, “What’s all this?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

Asterin sighed and just looked at her, “The Thirteen’s last-ditch attempt to get you to stay.”

Elide sighed, casting her eyes to the floor. I don’t want to leave you all behind.

“I know,” Asterin said causing Elide to glance up at her. “I know what it’s like to leave everything and everyone behind for the sake of love.”

Suddenly Asterin seemed a lot older then she looked, her eyes had taken on a knowing gleam, and although she was fighting tears Elide knew. Asterin understood, Asterin wasn’t judging her. And that made this so much harder to do. 

Elide sobbed and managed to get out, “I can’t leave him.” 

“I know,” Asterin whispered pulling her into another hug, “I know.”

\--------------

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die  
I don’t belong, and my beloved, neither do you  
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry  
I’m settin’ off, but not without my muse

\---------------

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Elide got over her little sob sesh, Asterin had shoved a plate of paella in her arms and pointed up.

So now, Elide was eating it as she made her way up to the apartment above the diner, Manon’s apartment. 

This goodbye might be the hardest, Elide decided, taking much longer then necessary to climb the stairs.

When she finally made it to the door, Elide didn’t even have to knock before the door flung open and Manon yanked her into a bone-crushing hug. The paella crashed to the floor, forgotten as Elide wrapped her arms around the slightly older woman and broke.

She was a mess of tears and snot but Manon didn’t seem to care as they rocked back and forth, neither of them saying anything, but neither of them having to.

Manon’s voice sounded like the crunching of broken glass when they finally spoke, after what seemed like eternities in silence, finally standing inside the apartment.

“Is he worth it?”

Elide made a few gasping noises as she tried to get air back in her lungs so all she did was nod.

“He’s worth it.” She said finally, “He’s worth it all.”

Manon sighed, flinging her head back, smacking is against the wall but not seeming to care, as a few more stray tears slipped down her face.

“Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” Her voice was small, childlike and that broke Elide more then anything.

This was Manon Blackbeak, gang leader turned diner owner who had tons of nasty rumors flying around about her and was also casually dating Dorian Havilliard. She didn’t get attached. She refused to. (Side effect of her childhood trauma). So seeing her like this, a mess, desperate and in so so much pain. It shattered Elide.

So all she did was shake her head, she couldn’t speak. The words seem lodged in her throat. There was so much she wanted to say, to this woman that had pulled her out of the darkness, that saved her. But she couldn’t say anything.

But that was the beauty of their friendship, they didn’t need to.

Manon nodded slowly, knowing that despite her protests Elide loved him and she knew he loved her. She surged forward pulling Elide into another trapping hug, both of them only whispering ‘I love you’s into each other’s hair, both of them unable to stop crying.

\----------------

What should be over burrowed under my skin  
In heart-stopping waves of hurt  
I’ve come too far to watch some name-dropping sleaze  
Tell me what are my words worth

\----------------

~~~~~~~~

Elide had managed to make it out of the diner without changing her mind. Giving each member of The Thirteen a hug on her way out. Manon had let her out of the back door so nobody would see her and alert Vernon of her departure.

Once outside into the crisp autumn air, Manon and Elide faced each other.

Elide crossed her arms over her chest as she watched the wind ruffle Manon’s white hair. The afternoon sun reflected and bounced off of Manon’s gold eyes as she quickly blinked away tears she didn’t want to shed. Manon also crossed her arms, deflecting the light from her eyes to the sliver chains adorning her jacket.

They stared at each other in silence.

Manon was the first to break it. She cleared her throat. “You really love him.” It wasn’t a question but Elide nodded anyway.

“Look,” Manon started. “I won’t pretend to understand why you love him,” Elide snorted, “But I know you do. And I know he loves you. That man would steal the moon and stars for you if he could.” Elide smiled softly but Manon plowed on, “I’ve known you for a long time, seen you through all the boyfriends and the broken hearts but I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you look at him.” Elide eyes started getting misty and Manon felt herself follow suit. “I know he’ll take care of you in the way this town, and these people can’t. I know you’ve thought long and hard about giving up your future like this for him. I know you decided that you couldn’t survive without him. I just don’t want you to expect me to happy about you throwing away every opportunity you have and leaving, but at the same time I want you to know that I’m happy for you, that you found this. I really am.”

Elide made a noise, “Wow, okay. I wasn’t expecting that”

Manon laughed, “Yeah me neither.”

“Why don’t you like him?”

Manon sobered instantly, “He’s not good enough for you.”

“Is anyone?”

“No.” Manon stated so matter-of-factly that Elide couldn’t help her short laugh.

Manon grinned, all she wanted was that. To see Elide smile, and laugh one last time.

“Just remember, you’ll always have a home here, with me.”

Something shone in Elide’s eyes, “I love you, Manon Blackbeak.”

“I love you too, Elide Lochan. Never forget that.”

\------------------

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die  
I don’t belong, and my beloved, neither do you  
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry  
I’m settin’ off, but not without my muse

\--------------------

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elide paced along the riverbank, her finger hovering over the call button. She didn’t want to, she was afraid hearing them would break her. And she couldn’t handle another break today. 

Elide stopped her pacing, staring down at her phone. Through her tears she saw the name, Aelin 👑💋🎂. She knew Aelin, Dorian and Aedion all hung out every other Thursday, usually it was the four of them but Elide had told them a bullshit lie about why she couldn’t today. So unless they’d replaced her it would thankfully just be the three of them. 

They were all childhood friends, Aelin and Aedion were cousins and had first met Elide when they were two, they’d hit it off immediately and when, a few years later, they’d been introduced to Dorian and the four of them were inseparable, going everywhere together, always knowing they could rant or vent to any of the others. Slowly everyone else joined their squad, Dorian had introduced his knew friend Chaol. Lysandra and Aelin had met in 7th grade and became besties much to Elide’s then-jealousy. Aedion and Chaol met Nesryn who occasionally hang out with them, no one really knew where she went when she wasn’t hanging out with them. Aelin and Dorian had a short thing which was weird for everyone, but their friendship came out all the better for it. Chaol and Aelin then had their thing which was cute at the time but they definitely did not belong together. When Elide met Manon, Manon seemed to hate her at first but Elide quickly made herself at home with the Thirteen despite what seemed like everyone’s protests. Chaol met Yrene, when he brought her for the first time Aelin and Yrene realized they already knew each other, and she was in. Then Aelin met Rowan, she started bringing him around more and more until suddenly he was a part of the group. Then they all met Rowan’s friends, and Elide was done for.

She remembered the day she met Lorcan very clearly, it was their junior year of high school and Elide was sitting on the bleachers in Gym class. Her ankle was acting more then usual and it was to the point that occasionally Elide was blinded by the pain. Like usual, Vernon hadn’t signed the slip saying she could sit out but Aelin’s mom Evalin had. Elide was doing what Yrene had told her to do when this happened, rolling the muscles in her leg as much as she could without hurting herself, working her way down to her ankle. Elide stood up, putting the least amount of weight she could on her ankle, and hobbled down the bleachers. She had to walk the gym, or her leg would seize up, which she knew, unfortunately, from past experience.

It was when she was walking that it happened. She didn’t see it until it was in front of her but a basketball went flying, directly at her. All she saw was one of the guys that had been playing basketball sprinting for her before she blacked out.

Lorcan had taken her to the nurse and sat with her the whole times, making sure she was fine. From then on they seemed to have a hate-hate relationship but if anyone insulted one in front of the other, god help them.

Later, when it turned out Aelin was dating Lorcan’s best friend Rowan it was like two of Elide’s worlds collided, nothing was the same.

Now Elide was shaken out of her reverie as she felt a water droplet land on her head. She took a deep breath and finally hit the call button.

\-------------------

I want auroras and sad prose  
I want to watch wisteria grow  
Right over my bare feet  
‘Cause I haven’t moved in years  
And I want you right here

\-------------------

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Elliddee” Aelin shrieked as soon as she answered, Elide winced away from her phone but she was grinning anyway.

“Hi, A. Are the boys there?”

“Aedion and Dorian? Yep!”

“Why are you so chipper?” Elide resumed her pacing along the river.

“Because I’ve had two shots of tequila and way too much chocolate cake to be healthy.” Aelin started to laugh at herself, “And, Rowan’s coming over to my place tonight and you know what that means!”

Elide could picture Aelin dancing around wherever it was they were hanging out and she could hear Aedion and Dorian’s retching noises and various exclamations of disgust and protests. 

Suddenly Elide remembered why she had called, why she hadn’t hung out with them today like she normally does, and went silent.

Even though Aelin was tipsy and on a sugar high, she was still an amazing friend and could tell something was wrong.

“El? What’s up? Not that I’m not tickled by the call,” Elide rolled her eyes and smiled, That was very Aelin of her, “But you’re very quiet and you said you had something to do tonight.”

“Put me on speaker please, I want to talk to you and the boys,” She managed to get out without crying.

“I-okay, sure.” Elide heard a small rustle and then she heard Dorian and Aedion chime in with ‘hello’s.

“I’m sorry,” Elide started with. “I’m sorry I never told you.” She broke off, covering her mouth with her hand to hide her sob.

“Told us what?” Dorian asked delicately.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure you had good reason to hide it.” Aelin added.

“What they said,” Aedion chimed in.

Elide took a deep shuddering breath, she seemed to be taking a lot of those tonight, and decided. She couldn’t tell them all of it. If she got into it she would end up staying too long to talk to them, and might be discovered by Vernon before she had the chance to escape.

“I don’t have time to tell you everything but in short, I’m leaving.”

She heard a thud like Aelin dropped her phone and heard their muffled voices rising above one another.

Finally, someone picked up the phone, “What-what do you mean,” Aedion asked, his voice quavering and Elide blinked furiously. This was just like Manon, Aedion wasn’t supposed to be emotional like this. 

“I have to be with him,” Elide said.

She heard the three of them take deep breaths, “Why couldn’t you tell us this in person,” Dorian asked.

“I’m sorry,” Elide repeated.

“Will we,” Aelin broke off.

“Will we see you again?” Dorian finished.

Elide shook her head then realized they couldn’t see her, “Probably not,” She heard Aelin sob.

“He healed you.” Elide heard Dorian say, clearly fighting back tears “After your parents,” Elide closed her eyes, sinking down until she was sitting in in the grass. “When your uncle took you in we all did what we could but he gave something we couldn’t.”

“He proved to you that you aren’t romantically unlovable. And I’ll always appreciate him for that.” Aedion cut in, and Elide heard Aelin’s murmurs of agreement.

“Where are you gonna go?” Aelin asked, her voice pitchy.

“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out, we have the rest of our lives to do it.”

:”So then this may not be the last time we see you?” Her voice was so hopeful Elide’s heart shattered all over again.

“No,” Elide explained, “We’re going off the grid, getting new identities, the whole deal.” She swallowed, “This is it.”

“Just remember we love you, yeah?” Aedion said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Aelin said. “We’ll always support you.”

“We hope you find what you’re looking for.” Dorian said.

“I love you guys,” Elide cried, as she hit the end call button.

A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground  
With no one around to tweet it  
While I bathe in cliffside pools with my calamitous love  
And insurmountable grief

~~~~~~~~~~~

Aedion, Dorian and Aelin were all standing huddled together in Dorian’s bedroom.

As soon as Elide hung up the dam broke in Aelin. She cried, raw and ugly, sinking down to the floor, pulling the boys down with her. 

\----------------

I want auroras and sad prose  
I want to watch wisteria grow  
Right over my bare feet  
'Cause I haven’t moved in years  
And I want you right here

\-----------------

Dorian clapped a hand over his mouth, failing to muffle his sobs.

Aedion simply stared at one spot on the wall, his gaze unfocused and his eyes glassy.

“Why?” Aelin screamed at the ceiling, “Why?” Dorian wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Aelin buried her head in his shoulder.

“You know why.” Aedion said.

Aelin turned to look at him, then at the spot he’d been staring at, “Lorcan and I never really got along but he didn’t deserve this, he deserves the choice to stay in town, or run and get a new identity. But he didn’t get it. So I guess I’m just trying to say I get why she’s leaving, why she’s choosing him over her abusive life with Vernon. If it was Rowan,” She glanced in between them, “I would do the same thing.”

“I would do it for Lysandra.” Aedion offered.

‘I would do it for Manon,” Dorian admitted.

Aelin nodded, satisfied, “So we really are going to support her, we’ll grieve but in the slim chance she comes back, we won’t forget.”

Aedion and Dorian agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elide stood up, brushing the grass off her jeans and walked to the edge of the river. She looked down at her phone, tempted to call Aelin back and tell her it was just a sick joke but then she looked up and remembered why she wanted to do this.

She saw his outline in the woods across the river, a dark figure against the dying sunlight fracturing against the trees. 

She smiled at him and took a deep breath, looking down at her phone once more before winding her arm back and throwing it as far down the river she could.

It hit the water with a satisfying splash and Elide drew her eyes away from where it sank to him again.

She took one last deep breath, finally ready to start her new life. Finally ready to be happy.

\---------------

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die  
I don’t belong, and my beloved, neither do you  
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry  
I’m settin’ off, but not without my muse  
No, not without you

\-----------------

**Author's Note:**

> Heheheheheh first posted fic :)  
> Song: The Lakes by Taylor Swift


End file.
